dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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