Are we in a gay sports bar?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
