sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
