her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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