Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
