I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
