wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i believe in u and ur pee
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
