so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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