We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
