How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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