so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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