The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
