spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
