i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
