The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
