So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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