I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
