Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
