im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
