i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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