Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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