Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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