i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I understand Curling. That high.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
