How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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