Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
