Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
