Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
