When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
do nipples grow back?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
