you traded sex for a burrito?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
