Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
