Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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