I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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