i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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