Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
