Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
