they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
