it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
