I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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