On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
