thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so that wasnt chicken after all
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
