So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
