you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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