i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
