I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
