The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
