I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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