It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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