I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
