Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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