If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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