Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
