There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
