He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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