The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
